Wednesday, April 06, 2005

call in the reinforcements

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Pen and Ink drawing from The Smithsonian Institution

I’ve got this one more thing to share from the seminar, and then we can get back to the sexy stuff (don’t worry, I have it on good authority that the one and only Dys will be back soon). I know some of our readers don’t have much patience for metaphors, so I’ll just say that this poem has a lot to do with the issue of positive vs. negative reinforcement I was getting at in the previous post. And before you judge its literary merit, take a look at who wrote it. It’s called, "The Soldier."

A poem written suddenly
Outpouring on paper
Scribbled down hurriedly
While thoughts are hot still
Becomes a soldier, defiant, free
To fight my war, to fight for me.

An onslaught of words, defending me,
Goes forth like a brave trooper
From his home. And now,
Without author, stands alone.

But it returns, red marks like wounds
Slashing the innocent lines,
The struggle over.
The wounds are deep. They reach
To scar my soul which cries out:
“Understand!” The feeling, not the grammar,
Should be read! Now the soldier is dead.
The poem that he was lies crumpled
In a corner, the effort made in vain.

The enemy has won.

Rencle Farwell, grade 6 (from this book)

5 Comments:

Blogger Steph said...

I can't imagine that any red wounds ended up on this soldier. The enemy was clearly defeated this time!

I wonder what comments the teacher left on this work. I would guess that it's hard to come up a wish...

4:42 pm EEST  
Blogger sissoula said...

The poem itself could be considered a badge of victory, but I seriously doubt that the victor in this case, or any, emerged from the battle unscarred. Everybody knows that poetry is a better medium for making darkness visible than it is for light, and handling criticism is, for better or for worse, a crucial element of character building, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept when it happens to you or sth you have created.

7:01 am EEST  
Blogger Steph said...

Did you say something about dots?...

5:06 pm EEST  
Blogger Dave said...

question - how did you get that little geoloc thing in? the english page isnt working, and im not too good at french or freak deaky dutch or whatever...could you give us a quick explanation? i'd be much indebted :)

9:17 am EEST  
Blogger Steph said...

Hey, look what I came across by accident!

2:20 am EEST  

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